His Work In Progress

"And here's where I chill when I'm done rock climbing in my bathroom..."

2009-08-10T20:34:00.004-05:00

I got scared out of my mind watching television yesterday.

I was flipping through the channels, trying to find something interesting to watch so I could justify not doing something more constructive, like writing, or praying, or sleeping. I stumbled on a show on MTV titled something like, “Top 15 Mostest Fab-est Teenager Cribs.” I was immediately engrossed.

As I joined the excursion already in progress, some ill-spoken teenager (sorry, oxymoron) was giving the MTV videographer a tour of his house the size of a shopping mall. He showed off the indoor go-cart track, his IMAX movie theatre and both stories of his bedroom. He took us to the fully-stocked video arcade game room and the water park in the back yard. I kept waiting to see what this kid had done that allowed him to buy all this amazing stuff. I had never seen so much opulence for someone who had a hard time talking and walking at the same time.

But before I could figure it out, the cameras took us to the next home where a pleasant young woman led a tour of an even larger mansion with even more jaw-dropping accoutrements. Her bedroom was in a refurbished medieval tower, complete with helipad and circular escalator.

As watched these tours by adolescent exhibitionists, I kept trying to learn what they had done to obtain the coin that allowed them to live in such excess. I’m not particularly current with pop culture, but none of these young people looked like anyone I recognized from the Partridge Family or the Osmond Brothers. How did these kids earn so much money? Did they launch an Internet lawn-mowing business or babysit for Brangelina?

Finally, I figured out that these young landowners didn’t earn that money – their parents did. Periodically during the video tours, the affluent parents of these teens would pop up on the screen saying something like, “When we built this over-the-top house, we wanted to make sure we would overindulge the kids, too. Because, you know, it’s all about the kids.”

These kids didn’t work to earn any of these amazing homes. They just happened to be born into families with such astounding earning ability. Through no effort of their own, the teens got to reap the rewards.

Now don’t get me wrong – I love amassing stuff as much as anyone. I like lots of things in abundance – money, tin roof sundaes, sleep. But the very act of teenagers showing off their preposterous possessions – which they didn’t do a thing to earn – really caught me off guard. Is the point of this pageant of possession to make other teenagers jealous? I guess it’s not fair that some poor kids are stuck with slacker parents who refuse to work harder so Billy can have a yacht in his moat.

Not surprisingly, the Bible takes a different approach. David decided that counting his stuff – in this case, the number of citizens of Judah and Israel over which he reigned – would be a good idea. But he had in Joab a commander who knew that counting what he had wasn’t the way to achieve enlightenment, and was an affront to God. “…why does the lord my king delight in this thing?” he asks in 2 Samuel 24:3. A few verses later, David realizes the futility of keeping score of his stuff and repents.

We’ve gotten really upside down when celebrate not only excess, but excess that was a windfall that we did nothing to earn. (It’s almost like Proverbs 19:10 from was made for this show’s tagline – “Luxury is not fitting for a fool.”) Wouldn’t it be more elevating to have a show that chronicles the 15 Mostest Fab-est Selfless Acts Done By Teenagers? That’s a show I’d watch. Right after the Partridge Family.

Have you ever felt that your pursuit of "stuff" had gotten out of control?

Making My New Year’s Ruminations

2009-01-07T22:09:00.002-06:00

I’m really not big on New Year’s resolutions. They really aren’t effective for me. It has something to do with my complete lack of discipline and self-control. Those character flaws cause me to give up early in the New Year. I don’t do New Year’s resolutions. I do New Year’s resignations.

Still, because I lack discipline and self-control (ironically), I generally can’t help myself when New Year’s rolls around. I am drawn to the whole new-year, fresh-start concept thing. I can’t help but to reflect on where I fell short in the previous year and where I can improve.

When I thought about where I fell short in 2008, this blog came to the top of my list. Apparently a blog needs to have regular posts if it is to have any kind of value, let alone attract readers. I tried justifying that by only posting something every six months, I was actually doing readers a favor, not clogging up their Google alerts. But that falls under the heading of New Year’s rationalization, which is something I am much better at than resolutions.

So I was mulling (which is a great word) why I was averse to posting blog entries in 2008, when I received some insight from my pastor. (I suppose that’s what I get when I mull during the sermon.) Pastor John spoke Sunday about creativity and why we need to be creative in our relationships, in our work, and in our spiritual pursuits. He compared creativity to a birth. Like a child, a creative idea is conceived, then it must go through labor before it is delivered. Pastor John made the point that many creative ideas fade away the moment they are conceived, if they aren’t yoked to a work ethic that sees them through to delivery.

Bingo! That’s my problem! I have lots of creative ideas. Every minute of every day I think of something witty or clever or insightful or cleverly insightful or wittily clever. But every minute of every day I also neglect to do the hard work to turn a creative idea into something that lasts longer than a moment. My problem is I’m all idea, no action. Call it New Year’s relaxation. Or recuperation.

That was reinforced to me when I read the fourth chapter of Matthew, describing the disciples’ decisions to follow Jesus.

Now as Jesus was walking by the Sea of Galilee, He saw two brothers, Simon who was called Peter, and Andrew his brother, casting a net into the sea; for they were fishermen. And He said to them, "Follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men." Immediately they left their nets and followed Him. Going on from there He saw two other brothers, James the son of Zebedee, and John his brother, in the boat with Zebedee their father, mending their nets; and He called them. Immediately they left the boat and their father, and followed Him. (Matthew 4:18-22)

I was struck by the word “immediately” used twice as Peter, Andrew, James and John responded to the call of Jesus. They didn’t think about doing something. They did it. Immediately.

So my New Year’s resolution is to apply the work ethic to my creative ideas so that I produce something tangible. I resolve to be more diligent putting my ideas onto paper, er, the screen. And so far, it’s working. I’ve already got one blog entry this year! So now I should probably take a New Year’s recuperation.

See you again in June!

What are you resolved to apply a stronger work ethic to in 2009?

Disobeying Directions

2008-06-25T17:31:00.002-05:00

As my week with the rental car wore on, I got more and more confident with my onboard friend. I could ask her to show me the nearest bookstore, how to avoid interstates when driving back to my hotel, or how to find an Outback Steakhouse.

In fact, one night I decided Outback sounded like a nice dinner choice, so I typed that into the machine, and she enthusiastically guided me on my way. But as we got closer to Outback, I saw a TGI Friday’s, and decided fish and chips sounded like a better choice. When Ms. AutoMap told me to turn left, I kept going straight. She did that a couple more times while I ignored her. I could tell she was a bit put out. Eventually, she told me she was “recalculating route,” but I didn’t give her the chance. I pulled into the Friday’s parking lot. Her response was icy silence right up until I turned off the ignition. And I felt kind of bad. I told her where I wanted to go, she dutifully prepared the directions, and then I ignored them and went my own way.

That was the second way that I decided this was like my relationship to God.

See, sometimes God tells me exactly what I need to go to make progress on the path He set me on. And sometimes I don’t just make a mistake. I intentionally go in a direction that I know isn’t His preferred route for me. And that’s when I get the still silence, the lack of response, the aloofness that sometimes drives me crazy. When I’m in those places of my own making, I’m usually surprised for a bit that He’s no longer shouting out directions. But I eventually figure out that I put myself into this spot. His response shouldn’t surprise me.

My Bible reading recently brought forth one of my favorite examples of disobedience (That’s sad that I have favorite examples of disobedience. I could probably come up with some examples of obedience... if I thought hard enough). In the book of 1 Samuel, Saul is giddy happy with the success he’s experienced in his pursuit of the Amalekites. He was on a mission from God to destroy them and he did… sort of. Because despite the instructions to wipe out everything, he decided to bring home a few spoils for himself. And the prophet Samuel, in one of the best examples of scriptural understatement, calls him on it.

“But Samuel said, "What then is this bleating of the sheep in my ears, and the lowing of the oxen which I hear?" Saul said, "They have brought them from the Amalekites, for the people spared the best of the sheep and oxen, to sacrifice to the LORD your God; but the rest we have utterly destroyed." Then Samuel said to Saul, "Wait, and let me tell you what the LORD said to me last night." And he said to him, "Speak!"

Samuel said, "Is it not true, though you were little in your own eyes, you were made the head of the tribes of Israel? And the LORD anointed you king over Israel, and the LORD sent you on a mission, and said, 'Go and utterly destroy the sinners, the Amalekites, and fight against them until they are exterminated.' "Why then did you not obey the voice of the LORD, but rushed upon the spoil and did what was evil in the sight of the LORD?"

Then Saul said to Samuel, "I did obey the voice of the LORD, and went on the mission on which the LORD sent me, and have brought back Agag the king of Amalek, and have utterly destroyed the Amalekites.

"But the people took some of the spoil, sheep and oxen, the choicest of the things devoted to destruction, to sacrifice to the LORD your God at Gilgal." (1 Samuel 15:16-21)

Another sign of faulty leadership - blame others for the mistakes.

In the following verse Samuel reminds Saul that what God wants is not spoils, but obedience. He doesn’t want us to sin in the process of pursuing something that God doesn’t want in the first place.

Samuel said, "Has the LORD as much delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the LORD? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed than the fat of rams. For rebellion is as the sin of divination, and insubordination is as iniquity and idolatry. Because you have rejected the word of the LORD, He has also rejected you from being king." (1 Samuel 15:22-23)

At the end of my business trip, it was with some sadness that I returned the rental car to the carport and boarded my flight home. It was a safe bet that I knew how to get where I wanted to go. The question is, will I follow directions?

What part of your life is most susceptible to ignoring the right directions?

Finding God’s Word in the GPS

2008-06-22T21:51:00.001-05:00

I had to travel recently for business, and my rental car reminded me of my relationship to God.

Not the car itself, but the cool piece of technology that is part Global Positioning System, part Mother Hen. When you type into the navigation system the address of the place you want to go, a pleasant-sounding woman talks you through the directions, illustrating her guidance with this neat-o electronic map.

Now I realize that people use onboard navigation systems every day, but this was all exciting and new for me. The vehicle I drive on my daily trek to work has crank windows, manual locks and a ticker-tape odometer. I don’t have a lot of experience with an electronic cruise director. In fact, the last time I rented a car with that feature, I had to turn it off and – kids, cover your ears – stop and ask for directions because I got so flummoxed by its instructions.

But this trip was a different story. When I disembarked from my plane on a rainy night, knowing that I had to drive about 30 miles to my hotel on strange interstates (OK, that’s not quite an accurate description. They were not “strange.” “Unfamiliar,” perhaps, but otherwise quite ordinary), I wasn’t too excited about trying to read my crinkled Map Quest printout while fumbling with the map light in a strange car (OK, again, “not my usual car,” but otherwise nothing “strange” about it). I decided to give the gadget a go.

I had trouble using it at first. I failed to notice all the electronic signals it gave me. When the pleasant-sounding woman wanted me to turn right, “now,” I didn’t think she meant, “now.” I missed a turn, and wound up going west on the interstate, when my electronic friend wanted me to go east. By the time I realized I had messed it up, and started figuring how to get back, the device’s pleasant voice assured me it was “recalculating route.” In a couple seconds, she told me again where to turn and how to get back on track. Once I did that, I was back on my route.

Because of my skillful adherence to her revised instructions, there was a part of me hoping she would exclaim, “Great job, you are now driving toward your destination!” But her affirmation was more subtle than that. About 10 miles later, she told me to stay left for exit 165. Apparently, I was back in her good graces.

That’s what I first thought that this machine was kind of like my relationship with God.

He knows where I should be going. He’s mapped out my route and calculated how long I need to travel. But a funny thing happens when I get behind the wheel of my life. I invariably get distracted, take a wrong turn, say something I shouldn’t or don’t do something I should. Sometimes I have found myself WAY off track. But each time, I envision He patiently recalculates my route so I can extract myself from the swamp I’ve driven into. But it’s up to me to follow those directions and get back to my original route.

I was a bit surprised Sunday when the pastor preached about car navigation systems, too. Apparently, whoever wrote the letter to the Hebrews was also concerned that the church had a tendency to ignore the navigation guidance that it had been given. But the writer stresses that the directions were clear, complete and built entirely on the grace of salvation offered through Jesus Christ.

“We must pay more careful attention, therefore, to what we have heard, so that we do not drift away. For if the message spoken by angels was binding, and every violation and disobedience received its just punishment, how shall we escape if we ignore such a great salvation? This salvation, which was first announced by the Lord, was confirmed to us by those who heard him. God also testified to it by signs, wonders and various miracles, and gifts of the Holy Spirit distributed according to his will.” Hebrews 2:1-4 NIV

It constantly amazes me that my own problems have precedence thousands of years earlier. It’s somehow comforting to know that even if I had an electronic navigation system back then, I could still get lost. Just like I get lost even when I have thousands of years of divine wisdom at the ready.

What generally causes you to fall off track?

Tomorrow: Intentional Misdirection

Celebrating My Recessive Retreat Gene

2008-05-08T22:44:00.002-05:00

I apparently have something of a recessive “slacker” gene that has become dominant lately. It’s the only explanation I can come up with for my recent onset of chronic laziness.

For instance, with the earlier sunrise in the northern hemisphere and the opportunity to jump out of bed for a fresh start in the morning, I’ve discovered room-darkening window shades and the snooze button on my alarm clock. Finally free from the shackles of a brutal winter, with the chance to take an evening walk arm-in-arm with my beloved through the budding trees and fragrant blooms of spring, I am transfixed on all those vital television shows that I missed during the writers’ strike. (Not to mention all the wonderful parenting tips I’m picking up from Super Nanny.)

It’s as if I’ve pushed the slow scan button on my real-life DVD player and I find myself moving through the day like a wheelbarrow through Jell-O. Or mud. Really thick, colorful, fruit-flavored mud.

So my ears perked up (very slowly and methodically) when I saw that the High Calling Blogs network was looking for bloggers to address the topic of “retreats.” It wasn’t that I had anything to contribute on the topic; I was just happy that someone gave me something to write about. I’d been too lazy to even come up with a blog topic recently! (Has it really been February since I last posted something?!)

But actually, I love a good spiritual retreat. Retreats have been a core part of my spiritual experience. I have done so many church leadership retreats, my pastor jokes, that we’ve moved the church about six blocks backwards.

I enjoy spiritual retreats for a couple reasons. One, they take you out of your daily grind and give you a fresh perspective. They force you to upset your routine and hopefully reset your mind, coming face-to-face with your Creator in the process.

Perhaps more importantly to me, they are appealing because my version of solitary retreats gives me an excuse to avoid people. As someone who is so introverted that I avoid eye contact when I walk by a mirror – for fear I’ll have to get into a long and boring conversation – retreats are the perfect opportunity to avoid our society’s penchant for trying to make transitory things seem more important than they are. (“As for man,” the Psalmist reminds us, “his days are like grass; as a flower of the field, so he flourishes. When the wind has passed over it, it is no more, and its place acknowledges it no longer.” Psalm 103:15-16.)

But I most enjoy spiritual retreats when they force me to push “re-set.” A well-conducted retreat requires simply that God and I have some quality time.

Some people have John 3:16 as their life verse. Some have adopted Romans 8:28: “…all things work together for good…” But once I stumbled across Mark 6:30-32, I knew I had found one of my foundational passages of scripture.

Upon welcoming back the disciples from their first foray into the world, Jesus knew the group needed to get off the treadmill for a while.

“The apostles gathered together with Jesus; and they reported to Him all that they had done and taught. And He said to them, ‘Come away by yourselves to a secluded place and rest a while.” (For there were many people coming and going, and they did not even have time to eat.) They went away in the boat to a secluded place by themselves.”

Ahh… that’s what I’m looking for. There’s a lot of God’s plan I don’t understand. But I “get” the value of a spiritual retreat. How could I not love a God that models quiet time for spiritual rejuvenation?

(Besides, I can record those television shows and watch them later, anyway.)

What’s your favorite retreat experience? Share it with the High Calling blogs.

Flying the Selfish Skies

2008-02-16T13:45:00.001-06:00

I’m not a big fan of business travel. And I am less a fan after my recent travels.

After attending meetings in a city far from my home (let’s call it “Tulsa,” because I believe that’s what the residents call it), I was eager to depart that city’s fine airport for a series of flights home for which I paid a certain airline (you know who you are) what I assumed to be a sum of legal tender sufficient to secure my safe and timely passage.

But when I arrived the required 60 minutes before my flight at the gate at the Tulsa International Airport (is it just me, or is every airport these days an “International” airport?), there was no plane to ferry me home. The high-tech LCD sign behind the gate agent said the flight encountered weather delays and would be 30 minutes late. That was understandable, because we’ve had lots of odd and intense weather in the central part of the country in the last, well, 180 days. So I was nonplussed by such a brief setback.

Unfortunately, the brief delay kept getting less and less brief. The plane into Tulsa didn’t arrive for almost another two and a half hours. This caused me some consternation, because my limited understanding of physics gave me inkling that I could not be both in Tulsa at 6:28 p.m. and in the next city at the same time to catch my connecting flight.

But this isn’t a story about weather and airplanes and space-time continuums. This is a story about selfish, carnal people. Including me.

Because when the plane finally did arrive, and the tired passengers disembarked, I began to piece together why the plane was really late. And when I got on the plane for its return trip, I gathered a few more details from our flight attendant who had also been on the incoming flight.

Apparently, as the plane was preparing to depart for Tulsa to pick me up, a passenger on the plane made a decision. She calculated the same space-time metrics I did and decided that it was silly to be on the plane, because weather delays had already prevented her from getting to her destination on time. And rather than see the trip through to its conclusion and pray that God would work it all out, she took matters into her own hands. After the plane received its assignment in the queue, was de-iced, and headed to take off, she asked (or demanded, depending who was telling me the story) for the opportunity to disembark the aircraft, have her luggage removed and, as far as I know, have someone carry her to her car and give her a backrub and a lovely parting gift.

When I heard this story, my only thought was, “what kind of person would not only inconvenience one plane full of passengers, but two?!” The kind of person who would do that, I thought, must be very selfish, indeed.

But as I said, there is enough selfish, carnal behavior in this story to go around. Because once I heard why MY plane was going to be late, I flashed anger. How dare that woman prevent me from catching my connecting flight, so I could make it home, to be with my precious family! I could just picture my precious children, with noses pressed to the frosty window, tears welling up in their eyes, pleading with their mother, “Mother, dear, when will father be home? Pray tell us, he’s not been inconvenienced by a selfish woman on the preceding flight, has he?”

(Never mind that those precious children had school and church activities and plenty of homework and probably just thought dad was in the basement or something. Don’t disrupt my vision.)

My imagination was on overdrive. There was no way I could catch my connecting flight. The airline would have to put me up in a hotel. I’d never see my checked luggage again. My wife would die from worry and my children would become circus people. I’d probably catch cold because of the stress. (I think I feel a sniffle coming on now.)

But a funny thing happened on the way to my travel nightmare.

When the plane arrived at my next destination, I learned that the flight I was late to meet also got delayed. I was able to catch it. And I made it home. And I arrived there within 60 minutes of when my ticket said I was scheduled to be home in the first place. And when I walked in the door, my precious children looked up from their homework and said, “Why are you bringing a suitcase up from the basement?”

In the fourth chapter of his letter to the church at Ephesus, Paul cautions against the very behavior I exhibited. He calls us who follow Jesus Christ to a higher standard.

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen… Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:29, 31-32, NIV)

Upon reflection, I had to wonder if my emotional reaction was even worse than the woman who delayed two planeloads of people. Because while I don’t know about that woman’s spiritual state, I know I should have higher spiritual expectations. I know better. But when I don’t live up to that standard, God, in His grace, gently points it out to me, reminds me of His call on me, and allows me to get up the next day and try it again.

He does that even when my imagination gets the best of me.

I mean, really, what are the chances of missing a connecting flight? Or the airline losing your checked luggage?

When have you ever over-reacted to the stresses at work? How did the assurance of God’s grace get you back on track?

Letting Go When It Hurts

2008-02-14T22:20:00.003-06:00

Here's my most recent essay on the topic of work and faith, which the great folks at The High Calling graciously published. Enjoy! Tom

Letting Go When It Hurts

Lead with Respect in Three Easy Steps

2007-10-10T20:56:00.000-05:00

Here's my latest essay from Christianity Today's FaithInTheWorkplace.com channel, courtesy of my good friends at The High Calling. Enjoy!

Lead with Respsect in Three Easy Steps

Name Recognition

2007-10-07T18:07:00.000-05:00

After a lunch meeting last week, I was walking back to my office with a vendor who is working with my company. Let’s call this vendor, “Mark” (which is easy to do, since that’s what I’ve called him the past 10 years I’ve known him). On our way back to my office, we came upon a man that Mark and I both know. We know him, as does practically everyone in town, because he’s a respected businessman, philanthropist and civic leader in the community. A few years ago, he served on the Board of Directors of the company I work for.

Over the years, I have run into Mr. Respected Businessman many times (one time, even literally, I believe). I have seen him at community events, public meetings and even been to his home for a fundraiser or two. Because he was a director for my employer, and because my job puts me in periodic contact with those board members, I have driven him to a meeting and helped carry his luggage (just so you know the nature of our relationship).

So every time I see Mr. Businessman, it’s easy for me to call him by name. But I always make sure to introduce myself, because, from the blank look on his face, I’m pretty sure he doesn’t have any idea who I am. He is always gracious, and assures me he remembers me well, ol’ Tom ol’ pal. But you can just tell when someone’s grateful for an explanation of how you know them.

So, anyway, Mark and I are walking down the street, and we see this distinguished gentleman. Because I know that this man knows Mark (I am the lowest man on this three-level totem pole), I prepare to introduce myself again.

But I am surprised when Mr. Businessman reaches out his hand to me, and says, “Hi, Tom. Is there any particular reason why you’re hanging around with people like this?” as he gestures to Mark.

I am sure I immediately broke into a huge grin of recognition. He has not only recognized me, but did it in the presence of my colleague. Now, someone else now knows that I am worthy of this great man’s recognition.

After we make additional small talk and Mark and he trade a few gentle jabs, we part and go our ways. I spend the rest of the afternoon feeling pretty good.

It’s only when I as sitting at my desk later that I realize why Mr. Businessman had accurate name recall for the first time in our relationship. I notice that I am wearing my company-issued security badge, complete with my photo, my company’s logo, and my name in large, easy-to-read type. Mr. Businessman no more remembered my name or affiliation today than he did any other time we’ve met. But today he had the benefit of being able to read my name badge.

I chuckled to myself that I was so prideful that someone recognized me. But the incident made me wonder if anyone would recognize me not because of my employer, but because of my affiliation with Jesus Christ. Instead of a name badge, Jesus provided His disciples with another cue that would help people recognize them. “By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." (John 13:35 NIV)

It’s nice to be recognized by someone important. It would be better to be recognized because someone saw that I followed someone important. I gotta work on that.

No, Wait

2007-09-23T18:43:00.000-05:00

I hate waiting.

I hate waiting for meetings to start, especially if they don’t start on time. I hate to wait in a line in the cafeteria. I hate to wait for someone’s voicemail to prattle on with information that I don’t need to know.

I called a colleague the other day, and got a message that went something like this:

“Hi, you’ve reached Bob Smith.”

(OK, let me stop right there. I obviously haven’t reached Bob Smith, unless Bob likes to talk about himself in third person, ala Bob Dole. It was kind of quaint when Bob Dole did it. Bob Smith isn’t that interesting.)

“Today is Friday, September 21. I’m in the office, but away from my desk right now.”

(Is he really away from his desk? I would presume he’s away from his desk if he didn’t answer the phone, but by saying that he’s away, it makes me think maybe he is there, but just pretending to be away. In this day of caller ID, would he really not answer if he knew it was me?! It’s surprising, I know, but some people have stopped answering the phone when I call!)

“I have a full day of meetings of meetings today, at 7:30, 8, 8:30, 9, 9:20, 10, 11, 11:45, 1, 2, 2:15, 2:30, 2:47, 3 and 4.”

(Oh, for crying out loud, you’ve got to be kidding me! Get on with it!)

“Your call is very important to me.”

(Uh huh. If it’s so important, why are you “away from your desk” right now, Bob?)

“Please leave a message with information about why you called, what time you called, and how I can reach you.”

(Wait, slow down! That’s a lot of information to digest. Let me write that on a Post-It so I will have that handy message-leaving guide next to my phone if I ever have to leave a phone message for anyone else. That way I won’t have to call Bob’s voicemail to remember all the steps.)

“I’ll be sure to return your call just as soon as I can.”

(Like when you’re no longer, “away,” right, Bob?)

“If your need is more urgent, please press ‘zero-star-992498-pound-accent aigu,’ and your call will be automatically routed to my cell phone.”

(Oh, right. I’m not falling for that. I’ll go to all that work, only to get your cell phone message that tells me to call your office if my need is more urgent. Why would I think you’ll be any more likely to answer your cell phone than you did your desk phone, Bob?)

“Thanks for calling, and have a great day!”

(Unlikely.)

It was helpful to learn that I could bypass someone’s voicemail message within my company by pressing “star” when I got their voicemail message. But that doesn’t always work when I call someone at another company, whose voice mail isn’t as enlightened. For those systems, pressing “star” simply enters you into some sort of voice mail circle that is impossible to escape. I pressed “star” on one company’s voice mail message and I think I re-booted their IT system.

I know I shouldn’t be so impatient. But in this rush-rush work world, it kind of feeds on itself. I get all impatient at work, because people are getting impatient with me, so I get impatient with people. Who has time to wait when someone’s waiting on you?

Of course, I generally don’t have a problem waiting when it’s on my terms; like playing computer games while I wait for creative inspiration to strike (still waiting), or waiting for the television show to be over before I go to bed. Other people may call it procrastination, but I call it “controlled waiting.” It’s my way of making myself more tolerant of waiting, so I will be more patient when the waiting is out of my control.

I can’t say it works, but it does create a nice rational package for me, so I can avoid thinking about how impatient I am. By playing solitaire, you know, I’m building up my "waiting muscles."

I started thinking about waiting when I read Isaiah 40:30-31 (NASB).

Though youths grow weary and tired,
And vigorous young men stumble badly,
Yet those who wait for the LORD will gain new strength;
They will mount up with wings like eagles,
They will run and not get tired,
They will walk and not become weary.

Those verses give an amazing image of the restoration that comes to someone who waits on the Lord. It's refreshing just reading it. It gives me a reason to develop my "waiting muscles." Because as someone who can’t wait for a voice mail message to end, I also don't have a good track record waiting on the Lord. (Which is why I so often find myself out of His will.)

So I am working to develop a taste for waiting. It's one more way I have to condition myself to hold the world at bay and walk according to God's plan.

Because if I had “wings like eagles,” I could fly around until I found Bob Smith and not even have to talk to his silly voice mail.

Where Has All the Compassion Gone?

2007-08-21T21:40:00.000-05:00

With all the recent market volatility, I’ve been pretty worried about my portfolio, so I sat down at my computer yesterday to check it out. The good news it was right where I left it – on the computer desk next to the half-eaten bag of Doritos. (Pause for moment of recognition and requisite groan.) But while I was at the computer, I decided to scan some business news on-line. I came across this brief notice that I thought deserved mention:

CPI Continues Downward Slide

The CPI (Compassion Poverty Index) posted a new low, according to the organization that tallies the statistic. Paul Ferris of Market Research Indexes said the index is at the lowest point since the statistic was first tracked.

“We thought that we had hit rock bottom during the Enron heyday,” Ferris said, “but we’ve seen a steady decline since then. We’re not really sure where the market bottom is.”

Ferris said that the underlying compassion poverty seems to stretch across all sectors and geographies.

“We’ve always seen a lack of civility, generosity, and good manners in large business, food service and retail,” Ferris said. “But even small companies seem to be experiencing the same conditions. No longer does it take an international behemoth to crush a human spirit. Now, thanks to the Internet, even a sole practitioner can demoralize large groups of people.”

Although the MRI has tracked the CPI for some time, this is the first public release of the data. And that was an accident, Ferris said.

“Yeah, our intern, Brian, was supposed to send out the Consumer Price Index data, and he got confused and sent out the Compassion Poverty Index, instead. It was a stupid, stupid mistake. After mocking him on our blog, ridiculing him at staff meetings, and posting the video on YouTube of his escort out of the building, we had to let him go.”

Ferris said the statistic is maintained by “some old guy in our ethics department. No one ever pays attention to it. I’m sure we’ll stop doing it once he retires.”

So I guess that sneaking sensation I have that the workplace is becoming ruder and less civil actually has some basis in fact. It must be true. I read it on the Internet.

Time Off for Work

2007-08-05T20:41:00.000-05:00

Sorry it's been so long since I posted something here. Unfortunately, I had to take two vacations in the past three months. And, along with the majority of my American colleagues in the workplace, I used those periods in the midst of the bright sunshine, soothing waves and windswept beaches to catch up on work.

A recent survey by CareerBuilder.com (for the expressed purpose of garnering attention from the news media and bloggers) reports that one in five Americans works while on vacation. It seems that we just can't get away from the office.

This finding makes me sad, and reaffirms my fear that we turn to work too often to find our identity. We define ourselves by the roles we play at work. As a result, we can't imagine being away from work, because it could possibly mean the loss of something dear to us - namely, us!

I wrote about this for the fine folks at FaithInTheWorkplace.com. That was two years ago, and, of course, the only change is that the problem has gotten worse.

But my job is to encourage you, so if you find yourself thinking that you can't take time off in what remains of the summer, because you may leave part of yourself at work, just stop. You are much more than your office, your computer, your assigned seat at the staff meeting, or your name embroidered on your shirt. You are a precious child of the most High God.

Now excuse me while I get back to work. The keyboard's been acting up ever since I dropped it in the sand.

Lacking Faith in All Kinds of Work

2007-05-13T22:13:00.000-05:00

Apparently secular workplaces aren’t the only offices that can crush a person’s faith.

At a recent Christian publishing conference I attended, a roomful of editors, publishers and writers lamented the difficulty maintaining their faith and joy at work. They talked about things like the threat of busyness to their spiritual perspectives, the competitiveness that sneaks in, and – sit down for this – the hypocrisy of those who work in Christian organizations. As people lamented, that last one is particularly frustrating, when they work in organizations that exist to spread the gospel to others.

At a luncheon the next day, a publisher sitting next to me shared the same perspective. She described people who have left their faith because they couldn’t reconcile the holiness of their work with the behavior of their co-workers.

Who knew that working in a secular office would offer me such an advantage? Because despite my naïve wishes to the contrary, I know my co-workers, boss, customers and the night janitor are going to act in ways that benefit them first, the company a bit later, and me, probably pretty close to dead last (unless I have some role to play in benefiting them).

My heart goes out to those who work in a faith-based organization. I need them to be in their ministry roles to encourage and minister to me. I cringed when one person said that he sometimes thinks he should just chuck it and head to the secular workforce!

For any of you who might be considering that, please don’t! There’s a much easier answer. Simply adopt the same low expectation that millions of your secular co-workers have, and you’ll be fine. Expect that people will be selfish pigs, and, when the occasional nice comment comes out, or someone stops to pray before a meeting, rejoice!

You won’t find that in the secular workplace... Trust me on this one.

Exercising Impatience

2007-04-30T22:20:00.000-05:00

I pulled into a doctor’s parking lot the other day and noticed that most of the parking spaces were clearly marked, “Patient Parking.” But one spot in the corner caught my eye. The sign there said, “Impatient Parking.”

My first thought was that this physician had a sense of humor. But after a day of dealing with grumpy customers, I thought that the “Impatient Parking” sign might be under-represented in the doctor’s lot. Based on my experience with unhappy customers, I think widespread remedial courses on basic kindergarten courtesy skills would probably be a good idea.

My heart goes out to any worker who has his or her time wrapped up in directly serving customers, whether in retail, food and beverage, or parenting. I know it can be hard to make customers feel satisfied, given their unrealistic expectations and incredible self-centeredness. For most people, who have to deal with all of the frustrations of this world, being a purchasing customer is their only opportunity to have any expectations of things going their way. After all, if you can’t get what you want when you buy the hot dog off the rolling warming conveyer at the convenience store, when can you expect things to go your way?

Paul calls us to show patience if we hope to model Christ for others (including, I presume, customers).

“Therefore I, the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love, being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” (Ephesians 4:1-3 NASB)

If you deal with customers during most of your day, you have my sympathy. I’d love to hear how you find patience in the midst of your work day. Let me know you secrets to achieving Paul’s admonition.

And I’ll tell you how the nurses reacted when I discovered that someone had parked in my spot!

Seeing Stars

2007-02-24T15:45:00.000-06:00

I was walking through a local business this week when I came across a radio station promotion. The two morning DJs from a top local radio station were doing a public appearance. I previously have worked on projects with one of the guys, who I knew to be a humble and generous guy. I decided to have a little fun with him. I approached him and said, “Hi, my self-esteem is dependent on local celebrities somehow acknowledging me, to give my life a sense of meaning. Would you mind just affirming me for a moment? My name’s Tom, by the way.”

My friend burst out laughing, and I joined in, but I noticed that his on-air partner was staring at me. Once he realized that I knew his partner, he relaxed a bit. But he said, “You wouldn’t believe how often we hear that. You’re just the first person who said it out loud.”

I was a bit taken aback, but not really. How often do we try to bask in someone else’s glory to boost our own sense of worth? We do it a lot at work. We think that if we can just get the big boss to notice us, maybe we’ll be eligible for a plum assignment, or he’ll think more highly of us when it comes time to review salaries. At the very least, maybe she’ll say, “I need to fire a dozen people today, but not Tom. I remember he threw himself in front a truck for me that day…”

We have the opportunity to reflect a much brighter glory in Jesus. He gives us a message of focus and compassion that is unmatched in the work world. And while it may not feel as big a boost to our fragile egos as having the district vice president call us by name during his semi-annual plant tour, it is infinitely more valuable.

Have you ever found yourself or a co-worker going out of your way to have some celebrity or authority acknowledge you? At what point did you realize what you were doing?

Trying to Duck my Duty

2007-01-27T11:08:00.000-06:00

I thought I was justified in complaining about how hard it is to live my faith at work. My accountability partner set my straight. Sometimes tough situations require tough medicine, but Joe always takes it to an extreme.

http://www.cbn.com/finance/petersen_duckingduty.aspx

Failing to Meet My Expectations

2006-11-12T21:52:00.000-06:00

Do you ever have expectations at work that aren’t met? (Or a better question might be, are your expectations ever met at work?!) I decided that my expectations were a big reason I was having trouble finding the balance between work and faith.

cbn.com/finance/petersen_expectations.aspx

Adoring the Hard-to-Adores

2006-11-08T22:27:00.000-06:00

Maybe I'm the only one, but I struggle with those folks who aren’t easy to like. There seem to be a lot of them at work. I called them the “Hard-to-Adores” in this column for CBN.com.

http://www.cbn.com/finance/petersen_adore.aspx

The Power of Self-Deceit

2006-11-01T22:24:00.000-06:00

It’s amazing to me how effective I am at fooling myself. As a result, I get myself to do all kinds of things that are in opposition to my faith. Here’s what I wrote about the topic in my essay for CBN.com

http://www.cbn.com/finance/petersen_manipulate.aspx

Surviving a Slump

2006-10-21T18:06:00.000-05:00

Have you ever found yourself in the midst of a slump, when nothing seems to work out? Here’s my take on it, in a CBN.com column.:

http://www.cbn.com/finance/petersen_slump.aspx

I Read It in the Journal

2006-10-17T21:43:00.000-05:00

Two stories in the Wall Street Journal today caught my attention, for similar reasons.

The first was Jared Sandberg’s Cubicle Culture column about the proclivity we have to say “no” instead of “yes” at work. One of the takeaways I got from that article is that people are subconsciously perceived to be smarter when they say “no.” I’m thinking of those painful business meetings where any idea that is tossed out is immediately shot down, clubbed and stepped on. Maybe we’re taught to do that because it obviously (please note subtle sarcasm) takes more intelligence and courage to find fault with something rather than accept it and – heaven forbid – compliment and support it! Count this among the Bad Fruit you find in business meetings, as I mentioned in my CBN.com article.

The second Journal article that gave me pause was the story about how commuters are choosing to leave work earlier and earlier to avoid traffic. The one guy left for work at 4:15 a.m. Once he got to work, he was able to squeeze in a 40-minute nap before his work day started! My heart went out to him, and everyone else who completely turns their lives upside down in order to accommodate their jobs. Imagine if Jesus and the disciples had to endure a two-hour commute before they could begin their ministry every day. I forget how spoiled I am, living in an un-crowded region of the un-crowded Midwest. Now if only I would use that free time for something besides playing Solitaire on the family desktop…

What sacrifices do you have to make to do your job? How does your faith help you through it?

Dodging Bad Fruit in Business Meetings

2006-10-16T20:30:00.000-05:00

I don't know about you, but business meetings are often a serious challenge to my faith. In a confined meeting room, with stale donuts and unspoken agendas, you learn a lot about your coworkers... not all of it good! Here's what I wrote about in a column: http://www.cbn.com/finance/petersen_fruit.aspx

The Problem with Small Talk

2006-10-07T12:54:00.000-05:00

As Christians, we're called to really connect with others so that we can share the Good News. The work world seems to have a slightly different standard for communications... that tends to be not quite so deep. Here's my essay for CBN.com on that topic:

Big Problem of Small Talk

Separating the Wheat from the Chaff

2006-10-07T12:51:00.000-05:00

What's really important at work? I'm surprised at how often I get this one wrong! Here's how I described the problem for CBN.com.

Separating the Wheat Stuff from the Chaff Stuff

Talking Myself into Being Important

2006-10-07T12:48:00.000-05:00

How much of what you say at work is all about you? Don't worry, you're not alone! Sometimes it seems like the primary role of work is to give needy people a chance to talk to each other!

Talking Myself into Being Important

Wanting What the Other Guy Has

2006-10-07T12:42:00.000-05:00

I am perfectly happy with my work, my career and my entire life... until I see what the other guy has. Here's what I said about it on CBN.com

Wanting What the Other Guy Has

The High Cost of Self Interest

2006-10-07T12:40:00.000-05:00

The epidemic of self-interest really saps the fun out of a day of work.

The High Cost of Self Interest

Me Behaving Badly

2006-10-07T12:29:00.000-05:00

Although I can easily recognize when a co-worker or company executive is behaving badly, I'm embarassed how seldom I recognize the bad behavior in myself! Here's how I updated my earlier blog post for CBN.com:

Me Behaving Badly

Thanks for Struggling with Me

2006-10-07T12:19:00.000-05:00

I struggle every day to balance work and faith. How do I do it? Take a moment to laugh! Here's what I wrote in my CBN.com debut article.

Thanks for Struggling With Me

Things that go bump in the office

2006-06-12T00:06:00.000-05:00

Who knew that the workplace could be so scary?

With its softly humming fluorescent lights, bland cubicle walls and plastic rent-a-plants, the average workplace is designed to intentionally not be very off-putting. Granted, there are exceptions (and I’m sorry if you have to work in an exception), but the average workplace tries hard to be a non-menacing place to spend your waking hours.

Yet the average workplace is also a hotbed of fear. Every day my co-workers and I are skittering and gasping as we run into our fears – fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of being forgotten.

The fears aren’t always obvious. Sometimes you have to look beneath the surface to recognize them. But they are all around.

I saw them in a colleague when she made it a core competency to point out the failures of every department outside her own. She was always critical of someone’s performance, someone’s inattention to detail, someone’s lack of follow-through. I reacted poorly when our department was in her sights (once again scientifically proving the acclaimed hypothesis that two wrongs do not, in fact, make a right), until I realized she was acting out of her own fears of inadequacy. For her, the possibility of being a corporate scapegoat overpowered her ability to work and play well with others. Her fears were driving her to do some scary things on her own.

Scripture tells us we should not fear man nor the things of this world. “The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the defense of my life; whom shall I dread?” (Psalm 27:1).

Be on guard for the next time you act out of fear. It’s sometimes hard to see, since it feels real when it happens. But if we focus on being aligned with God’s will for our work life, our fears will be more evident. In Ecclesiastes 5:7, Solomon counsels a redirect, that we put our fear of worldly things aside: “For in many dreams and in many words there is emptiness. Rather, fear God.” The Psalmist adds, “How blessed is everyone who fears the Lord.” Psalm 128:1.

But it’s still OK to fear that plastic dieffenbachia plant in the company lunchroom. That thing is definitely scary.

When do you most experience fear at work? How do you put that fear back in the can?

The Trouble with Gossip

2006-05-31T21:21:00.000-05:00

Confession time: I am not the man of integrity I’d like to think I am. (Can’t you just imagine the fedora-wearing reporters running to the bank of phone booths call in that breaking story?)

Although there are a number of reasons for this variance between desirable traits and reality, one sticks out (at least today): I don’t always speak words of blessing. In fact, I speak blessing only about a tenth of the time I open my mouth. Another ten percent is inquiring about the soup of the day (we eat out way too often) and about 20 percent is telling my kids to pick up some item that is located in a place it shouldn’t be. The remaining 80 percent (I was never good at math) is spent complaining about something, criticizing someone, expressing frustration or yelling at a televised sporting event.

Of all the non-blessing things that come out of my mouth, I get most frustrated when I catch myself gossiping. I like to think of myself as someone who is trustworthy and can keep a confidence. I used to be very good about changing the subject or smiling and nodding politely when a conversation turned to rumor or speculation about someone I knew. But something happened as I got older – I started joining in. If someone speculated that John was not doing well in his job, I’d give 20 examples to validate it. If someone wanted to know why Suzy wasn’t in church, I’d point out how many times I saw her on Saturday afternoon televised sporting events wearing foam fingers and shouting into the camera.

How do I reconcile my self-image that I am a person of upstanding moral authority yet capable of piling on in a gossipy-conversation? I don’t. There’s really no excuse for it.

I do have a couple ideas why I do it, however. (I figure if I can’t stop it, at least try to explain it.)

One reason is that I seek the approval of men, not God. If I join in their conversations, I think, then I will be accepted as part of the crowd. Of course, Paul makes it clear in Galatians 1:10 that if I am still trying to please men, I am not serving Christ.

Another reason I participate in gossip is because it makes me feel better when I tear others down. Again, however, Paul has a response to that, in Philippians 2:3. “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.”

So I have plenty of reasons to do the right thing. Now I just need to do it.

My behavior finally got so bad that I decided to try some behavior modification techniques. I read about putting a rubber band on my wrist and snapping it every time I caught myself gossiping. At first it was easy, because I didn’t even realize how often I was gossiping. But the longer I looked at the rubber band, the more I realized what was coming out of my mouth and the more I snapped.

Co-worker: “Did you hear about Jim?”

Me: “No, but I sure would like to!” (SNAP)

Co-worker: “It seems he messed up the O’Reilly account and failed to bill them for the last two months!”

Me: “Doesn’t surprise me! He can’t add any better than he can sell! (SNAP! SNAP!)

Co-worker: “I suppose it doesn’t help that he has had so much stress at home…”

Me: “Well, if he'd just admit he lost his driver's license and stop sneaking out to the bus stop, and if he stopped wearing that hairpiece and admit that he lost his hair a year ago, maybe he wouldn’t be so stressed! (SNAP! SNAP! SNAP!)

It took quite awhile, but eventually I saw real changes. Namely, I don’t have any more rubber bands in the house, and I’m wearing long-sleeved shirts until the welts heal.

But I am trying to read more of what Paul says… in small doses at a time.

How do you ensure that your words are a blessing to others?

Missing the Big Plan

2006-02-12T11:14:00.000-06:00

While Moses is clearly the hero of the book of Exodus, my management style more closely resembles that of his brother, Aaron.

Nearly a dozen chapters of Exodus chronicle the conversations between God and Moses on Mount Sinai. God gives Moses explicit instructions about building the tabernacle, including the altar, the mercy seat and the lampstand. He even provides details for the curtains and the incense. (Who knew God was so interested in the little things? I need to remember that the next time I don’t think God is paying attention to my little transgressions).

Amidst these extensive instructions, God gives explicit details for the assignment He has for Aaron. He instructs Moses about how Aaron will become a high priest in the new order of worship. God clearly has big plans for Aaron.

So while all of this conversation is going on, where is Aaron? He’s at the bottom of the mountain, responding to the whining of the people. They’re all bummed, because they haven’t heard from Moses for more than 40 days and they’re worried he forgot about them. So Aaron, the future high priest, instructs the people to melt down their gold and make a golden calf to worship. Not only does he lead the people in the wrong direction, he doesn’t even take responsibility when Moses finally comes down the mountain and asks what’s going on. “Aaron said, ‘Do not let the anger of the Lord burn, you know the people yourself, that they are prone to evil.’” (Exodus 32:22) Thus was created the first rule of bad management: when things go wrong, blame the employees.

I identify with that story because I think while God has great plans for me, I’m off worshipping the false idols I’m busy building: my title, my parking space, my 401(k). God has great plans for me, but I’m following the crowd, trying to be popular, and getting caught up in the big project, even though it is exactly opposite what God wants me to do.

The good news is, if God can use Aaron for His purposes, I have high hopes He can use me, too. I just need to have the good sense to realize the difference between something that is in God’s plan and a golden calf.

When have you focused on your idols instead of God’s big plans for you?

Showing Restraint

2006-02-04T14:00:00.000-06:00

I am teaching my children restraint – to be patient, to seek the welfare of others before themselves, to turn the other cheek when someone offends them. It’s really quite easy. I instruct them to watch what I do, and then do the exact opposite. It’s not quite as effective as I might hope, but it will work. I have faith.

I do not, however, have the ability to show restraint. If there is something that looks good to eat, I shall eat it. If a co-worker has offended me, I shall let him or her know of the offending action, and then I return it in kind. If my boss passes me over for a project assignment, I shall aggressively whine about it.

Do any of these responses improve the situation? Of course not. Does that stop me from acting like a spoiled two-year-old? Of course not. Why? Because I’m apparently mostly human.

I have no idea who Jesus was talking to when he said in Matthew 5 to turn the other cheek, give the shirt off your back, go two miles if you’re asked to go one. It certainly wasn’t a group of humans. I don’t think we’re capable of that kind of civility, let alone patience, kindness and even (gulp) love toward people who wrong us.

It also comes down to whether or not we trust God when He said in Deuteronomy that vengeance was His, not mine to dole out.

My pastor sometimes talks about a spirit of offense. I don’t know if that’s a true spiritual being, but it certainly is a human response. I can get offended over the silliest things. Like the co-worker in another department who got credit for organizing an event that my department sponsored. Sure, she gathered volunteers, made the arrangements and even cleaned up afterwards. But I paid for it! (And even then, I didn’t pay for it; it came out of the company budget, channeled through my department). Still, she shouldn’t get credit for it!

It’s times like that that I know I need Jesus. If I am offended at trivial things, I know there is no earthly way I can repay real evil with kindness. So I keep reading, praying and testing myself to show restraint. And blindfolding my kids, so that my actions don’t prove more memorable than my words.

When have you ever exhibited a spirit of offense? How did that work for you?

Me Behaving Badly

2006-01-30T07:23:00.000-06:00

I can always spot a mile away when a co-worker or company executive is behaving badly. But it’s harder for me to be honest when I’m behaving badly. Which is ironic, when you stop and count how often I behave badly.

I know the “right” way to act. I read scripture with Jesus’ example printed in red. I listen (more often than not) when the pastor is describing God’s expectations. I understand what the author means when I read those varied and sundried books on Christian leadership at work. I know the right way to act. But when push comes to shove, you can bet the month’s rent that my behavior won’t match those examples.

I offer as illustration a recent example that occurred when a co-worker informed me than another colleague was leaving the company.

Co-worker: “Did you hear that Suzy So-and-so left?” (The names have been changed to protect the innocent. Her real name is Betty.)

Me: “Oh, thank goodness!”

Co-worker: (surprised and taken aback by the force of my response): “Why do you say that?”

Me: “That woman was an idiot! I never met a bigger idiot! “She’s the curator of the Idiot Hall of Fame! She won an Oscar for best performance by an idiot! Google ‘idiot’ and she has over a million hits!”

Well, you get the idea.

I wish I could tell you I was exaggerating here, but I’m mortified to say that might be an transcript of the conversation. (Now there’s a scary thought – how would our conversations be different if the people we were talking about could read a transcript of what we said about them. After all, God hears everything I say. Meditate on that for awhile, Mr. “Can’t-Say-Anything-Nice-About-Others” Man!)

Because I know I am capable of such misbehaving, what do I do? First, I spend a lot of time asking God for forgiveness and claiming His grace. I don’t know how full God’s bucket of grace is, but I do know that I have claimed more than the average person’s share.

Second, I spend time with people who encourage me to live right and think more highly of others than I do myself. They’re wonderful people who are truly spirit-filled and kind and often make me feel like a schmuck, because I’m not. But after a while, they do rub off on me. (The problem is that I can only take them in small increments, lest I have some sort of saccharin reaction. But I think I’m building up a tolerance.)

The best way to monitor my bad behavior? Be with someone who is practically incapable of being mean-spirited. In return, I’m sure my friends get lots of valuable things from me, too. Like how to describe someone as an idiot in a million different ways.

What do you do when you find yourself behaving in ways that fail to honor God?

The Not-So-Secret Path to Humility

2005-09-21T21:10:00.000-05:00

After years of practice, I have developed a quite sophisticated approach to achieving deep-seated humility. It is a cycle I have repeated so many times that I can recite it now for you from memory.

It begins, ironically enough, with success. I do something well at work, perhaps direct a project or prepare a memo that allows my company to, in some small way, move forward in its effort to achieve its goals. I am rightly recognized for my significant contribution, and lauded for my excellent work. In response, rather than give thanks to the Giver of all good things, I grow proud.

From this point on, the outcome is predetermined.

The next step is to place me in a situation where my opinion might be sought or my help might be needed in another application. Mindful of my superior contribution in the last effort, I am prepared to make my opinion known robustly. I anticipate everyone will be eager to hear my thoughts. After all, I reason, they are still mindful of the Great Management Resources Allocation Memo of August 22. The glow of that effort only faded enough that they can now gaze upon my visage without the need of smoked glass, certain as they are that they are about to witness lightning striking twice, I presume.

But something happens. I render my opinion, yet the crowds do not fall prostrate to my brilliance. They do not suspend action to marvel at my insight. In fact, they continue talking and discussing, almost as if I hadn’t even spoken! Surprised, but undaunted by this seeming setback, I simply wait for another opportunity to express my thoughts when the assembled crowd might not be so pre-occupied with the severity of the issue that they miss the simplicity of my solution. The opportunity comes and the advice – solicited or unsolicited, it doesn’t matter – is proffered, yet the same lack of response is loudly emitted.

This is a critical juncture in the effort to humility. If I were to choose a spiritually mature response, I would simply step onto the humility tram, admit my inadequacies, thank God for his grace and the opportunity to begin anew, and arrive safely at Humble City no worse for the wear. But such a trip would be too dull for my tastes. Instead, I choose a much more dangerous path, one fraught with excitement, uncertainty and the inevitable exhilaration of public embarrassment. I turn inward, and convince myself that I am right and “they” are wrong. It is a simple construct, yet it is effective in restoring my fragile ego. Sincere in my belief that “they” are fools, I see “them” demonstrate their wrongness again and again. Expecting to see foolish behaviors, I imagine I see them in abundance. While their actions may have a basis in a brilliant strategy, from my vantage point, I see only idiocy. I grow more convinced of my right-ness and grow so self-righteous in my own mind that I can barely see the benefits of even working with these inept dolts.

The next step varies by tactic, but the result is always the same. I achieve humility forcefully – with a loud and public “thud.” I may gossip to someone about how a certain manager is unfit for his role, not realizing how quickly that word will get back to the manager in question. I may sniff in a meeting that the recommended action is clearly folly, only to have everyone stare at me blankly, wondering what life is like on my planet. I may deem the project unnecessary and so neglect to perform my role on the team, resulting in everyone easily recognizing how my obstinance is jeopardizing the entire effort.

Too late, I realize that, even if “they” are less than perfect, I have made the situation far worse. Now I feel really bad. I realize how I have let others down because I was so caught up in my own story and lost their trust and respect. But mostly I feel bad because I have fallen so far from the standard that Jesus set for His followers. I am now a full-time resident of Humble City. This time, however, I have arrived battered and hurt.

The amazing thing about this is that I was reading 2 Chronicles the other day (some people drop names of executives they’ve met with, I drop Old Testament book names) and found my story. Except it happened to Hezekiah. Here was a guy who just kept doing good things for God. Example after example of good and Godly works. But late in his life, when he should be resting in the knowledge of his time in God’s good graces, he misses the opportunity to give thanks to God for his healing. (2 Chron 32:15-26)

But Hezekiah gave no return for the benefit he received, because his heart was proud; therefore wrath came on him and on Judah and Jerusalem. However, Hezekiah humbled the pride of his heart, both he and the inhabitants of Jerusalem, so that the wrath of the LORD did not come on them in the days of Hezekiah.

Fortunately, Hezekiah realizes his pride, repents and humbles himself.

If it can happen to Hezekiah, why should I be surprised that my story is any different?

What’s your story?

Gaining Perspective

2005-09-11T22:40:00.000-05:00

If today was your first day in the work world, you may be surprised to discover that work sometimes can feel annoying and pointless.

No, really. I have seen it many times. Sometimes it happens many times in the same day. And nothing makes work seem more annoying and pointless than when you’re preoccupied dealing with a “real” issue at home.

The “real” issue can be lots of things. It can be big things, like a death in the family, an unexpected diagnosis, or a crisis with one of the children. Or it can be small things, like a missing checkbook, a bully at the kids’ school, or recall notice for the new car. There are lots of things that can arrive to mess up our plans and jolt us out of our routines. (In the Bible translation I’m developing, Proverbs 16:9 – “In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps” – is “Y’all can think you’ve got it figured out, but God just might have other ideas.” I’m really expecting my version is going to knock the NIV off the top of the bestseller list. Take that, International Bible Society! Bwah-hah-ha! But I digress…)

And while these “real” events can provide instant clarity on what’s important, my experience is that they also make the other stuff seem really, well, annoying and pointless.

This week, our family said goodbye to a long-time family pet. Our cat had been with us for 14 years, longer than either of our children. So it was pretty traumatic for us when we came home and discovered she’d apparently suffered a stroke. It was a time of sadness and recalling fond family memories. The children – and we parents – are getting through the grief surprisingly well. But working through the sadness and tenderness at home really makes it hard to get too worked up about silly stuff at work. For instance, things that seem particularly unimportant now include:
- Who gets top billing on the PowerPoint presentation
- Who is seated at the head table at the company picnic (don’t ask me why there’s a head table at a picnic…)
- Who gets the most glances from the executive during the staff meeting (people track these things)
- Who gets John’s parking space now that he’s retiring (not for another year, but it’s never too early to ask).

It would be easy to have a royal meltdown when the real issues of life make the goofy issues of work seem even more goofy. It’s at times like this that I find great truth in Paul’s counsel in Philippians 4:8: “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”

I’m pretty sure Paul wasn’t talking about company picnic head tables when he wrote that.

Seeing Work as the Oxymoronic Conundrum it is

2005-09-02T08:56:00.000-05:00

Here we are, ready to celebrate Labor Day with a long weekend. As Christians, we should celebrate Labor Day. I mean, I think we should, shouldn’t we? Or not?

We Christians seems to have a relationship with work that I think best can be described as “oxymoronic.” (I have wanted to use that word for weeks, even if it – likely – isn’t a real word. I can go back to bed now.)

See, on the one hand, we see our labor as something good. On the other hand, we don’t see it that way. We’re suppose to enjoy our work, do it all to the glory of God, but don’t enjoy it so much that it takes us away from our family, worship or any other good thing God has provided. We’re supposed to use our God-given skills to generate income to provide for our families, support ministries, etc. But don’t become so enamored with your labor that you make it an idol.

The Bible fans this paradox, depending on how you read it. Psalm 127:1 starts out with wise counsel. “Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain.” Labor for God. Makes sense. But in the very next chapter, we get to celebrate labor as if it’s something we did: “You will eat the fruit of your labor; blessings and prosperity will be yours. (Pslam 128:2).

I find a lot of plain, simple wisdom about work in Eccelsiates 5:18: “Then I realized that it is good and proper for a man to eat and drink, and to find satisfaction in his toilsome labor under the sun during the few days of life God has given him—for this is his lot.” Amen.

So, there it is. This weekend, go out and celebrate the satisfaction of toilsome labor in an appropriately oxymoronic way… take the day off.

Compassion Confession

2005-09-01T20:32:00.000-05:00

True confession: My labor productivity units haven’t been as high this week as usual. I’ve been mesmerized by the devastation and suffering caused by Katrina. I’ve lingered too long on the morning news shows and shown up later than usual for work. During the day, I’ve drifted to the news websites to view the incredible images of flooding in New Orleans. I’ve spent more time than usual talking with colleagues about the reports we’ve seen and stories we’ve heard and tried to make sense of it all.

As a Christian, I am sometimes challenged to use the right words to explain to friends and coworkers why I have faith that our loving and benevolent God is here with us in these horrific times. And it always feels unsatisfying as I stumble through it. (“No, see, there were these two folks, Adam and Eve, and they had what we call original sin, and ever since then, bad things happen to good people, but God is there even when bad things happen and He grieves just like we do and He loves us so much He sent His son who also had to die but He’s alive now. Would you be interested in coming to church on Sunday?” That’s another problem with great teachers like Billy Graham or Max Lucado – they’re never standing there at my desk when I need them!)

A few years ago, I agreed to give the Sunday sermon while our pastor was on vacation. Tragically, one of the matriarchs of our church died unexpectedly in a car accident while on vacation that week. (I am always surprised when newscasters say someone died “prematurely.” Do you know of many people who felt they died “late?”) I had the incredibly difficult task of giving a message that could minister to the congregation and family in the face of the loss of our friend and family member. I prayed like a maniac that week, and God answered with a message built around Hebrews 12:26-29:
“At that time his voice shook the earth, but now he has promised, ‘Once more I will shake not only the earth but also the heavens.’ The words ‘once more’ indicate the removing of what can be shaken—that is, created things—so that what cannot be shaken may remain. Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, for our ‘God is a consuming fire.’”

The fact is, we live in a shakeable world, with shakeable things that we’d better not get too attached to. That’s not always a message that’s easy to hear, but it’s an honest message that has proven accurate time and again. As a Christian, I’m grateful that there is also a kingdom that cannot be shaken. I’m looking forward to that (but not too early or prematurely, mind you). In the meantime, I watch the news, linger on the images, contribute what I can, and pray for the thousands of people affected.

Conspicuous Christianity

2005-08-28T21:34:00.000-05:00

I know what Jesus said about wearing your faith on your sleeve. Matthew 6 starts out with a lot of “do nots” in this area. Starting in verse 1: "Be careful not to do your 'acts of righteousness' before men, to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.”

But at work, I feel like I need to be somewhat conspicuous in my faith, so I can hold the weird world of work at bay. At the same time, since I’m at work, I’m also nervous about being too overt about my faith. So I try to subtly achieve what I call Conspicuous Christianity. I try to adorn my workspace with things that communicate what my values are.

So I no longer have the life-size inflatable Jesus (that was too conspicuous). The things I have are a bit more restrained. In fact, you may not even notice them at first (unlike the six-foot inflatable). Consider what you’ll find if you come into my office:

- A Bible verse a day calendar
- Handwritten notes all over my desk with favorite scriptures (including my life verse, Romans 12:2, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed, by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what is the will of God, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.”
- Some favorite devotions from the Marketplace Leaders daily e-mail from Os Hillman tacked to my wall. (You can sign up at http://www.marketplaceleaders.org/)
- Three polished aluminum letters that spell D-a-d. (A father’s day gift from my favorite little urchins a few years ago.)
- Six different photographs of those same young’uns and their mother scattered around my work area.
- A wonderful collage of photos, autographed by those same kids, with Psalm 103:13 in the frame. (“As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him.”)
- A Bible on my desk. And not one of those little New Testament ones that the Gideons hand out on college campuses, either. This is a big honking King James Version Family Generations Heirloom Bible with the Words of Jesus in Red. (OK, just kidding, it’s a little one tucked discreetly in the corner. As I said, you get points for subtlety.)

I have those things around me for a couple reasons. First, they remind me on a minute-by-minute basis what is truly important to me. They help keep me grounded when I start to drift.

Second, they are meant to be conspicuous reminders to other people what kind of person I am – or at least what kind of person I aspire to be. I’ve been able to have some very positive conversations with co-workers who come into my office and know what kind of person I am, because of the signals I send through my actions and my office knick-knacks.

Finally, these things act as a form of accountability for me. If people see that this is what I aspire to, every time I say something that doesn’t glorify God, they can hold me accountable. Even if they don’t believe in the values I do – and especially if they don’t – showing everyone the faith I aspire to helps keep me accountable for my actions.

Fortunately, I work in a place that allows someone to have those elements around. It’s a blessing for me. And maybe for others.

What about you? What have you put in your office to help tell people who you are? Have you ever been challenged by having those things? Share your story.

Sunday morning joy, Sunday night anxiety

2005-08-21T21:00:00.000-05:00

In my extensive work experience, there’s a sure-fire way to tell how much you really like or dislike your job. It all comes down to how you feel Sunday night.

If you’re not sure, you can take this quick and easy quiz to find out!

Do you feel:
A. Angry and hostile toward others, glowering and yelling and finding yourself up late all alone?
B. At loose ends, starting with a general malaise about mid-Sunday afternoon until you’re tossing and turning in bed that night for no apparent reason?
C. Mildly anxious, but you attribute it the fact that NBC no longer has Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom and The Wonderful World of Disney in its Sunday night line-up? (Sheesh, how old is this guy, anyway?)

The most stressful response is “A.” But if you’re too tense to care how you scored, or even finish the quiz, that might be another indicator for you.

For anyone whose workweek starts on a Monday, I’m guessing we all feel some anxiety Sunday night as we leave the weekend and head into the work week. It’s been programmed into us from our grade school days. But if you really dread Sunday night – this is just a wild guess – you may really not like your job.

When I was in a job I really didn’t like (you know who you are, Mr. Unpleasant Employer), I scored “A” pretty consistently. I hated Sunday nights. I was unpleasant and unruly. I was always disappointed that the high I felt in worship on Sunday mornings had evaporated less than 12 hours later. And right before I left that unpleasant job, I realized that the anxiety of Sunday night had completely washed over Sunday afternoon, trashed Sunday morning and even started working its special magic as early as mid-day Saturday. That was just one of the key indicators for me that it was time to move on.

Even today, as I look forward to a job I like and people I like to work with, I feel a bit of Sunday night anxiety. It may have something to do with not seeing Tinkerbell fly over Cinderalla’s castle, but I suppose it could be a bit work-induced. That’s why we have some unspoken rules at the Petersen house for Sunday nights.

First, there are no out-of-the-house social activities Sunday night. It dates back to when my work stress made me completely unruly on Sunday nights and my wife kept me at home for the protection of others. To this day, if we get a party invitation for Sunday night, we nearly always turn it down (which is saying something, considering how seldom we’re invited to parties!).

Second, we go to bed early. Although, depending on how tense I am, crawling into bed early can be kind of a pointless exercise. I can lay awake worrying about work while I am in bed just as easily as I can watching the Sunday night movie of the week.

Third, I read. Now I wish I could tell you I read the Bible, but that’s usually not the case. (OK, never the case.) Usually it’s something completely pointless. In another sterling example of personal paradox, if I am particularly worried about the workweek, I will often read work stuff. In my simple mind, I assume that by getting some work done Sunday night, I’ll be ready to hit the ground running Monday, and, thus, be able to relax Sunday night. But, of course, attacking work Sunday night only forces me to spend more time thinking about work. Nothing guarantees a good anxiety attack on a Sunday night like reading work stuff. If you really want to work yourself into a lather, go ahead and check your voice mail and your work e-mail, too, while you’re at it.

I know that I should do something much more profound Sunday nights, like cloister myself in my prayer room and map out my goals and objectives for the week while I pray through the week’s activities. I actually did that for about two weeks. It gave me a sense of comfort and purpose, but, like many of my great personal holiness initiatives, it quietly ended before I could make it a habit. (Yet another reason I claim each and every one of Christ’s promises of grace.)

So now I’m sitting here, Sunday night, trying to write while I watch Amercia’s Funniest Videos with the family, phone off the hook and open Bible on the desk in front of me. (Or, more accurately, on a shelf in the next room. But I could go get it if I really wanted to.)

What are your Sunday night rituals?